Monday, June 18, 2007

A challenge

It's a new day, a new week and a new outlook on my daily life. I have decided to participate with Christine at Fruit in Season in honoring and respecting our husband's for 30 days. The full article is at her website and there is another challenge going on that is a 30-day challenge for encouraging your husband and it can be found here.
I am going to use the two together to help me to be a better wife to my husband. I am currently reading The Power of a Praying Wife and am really finding that it is not my husband that I should try to change but it is me. That is very
powerful for me. My goals for this week are:

  • To be kind and loving towards my husband when he comes home from work. I understand he's had a hard day and to not make things harder on him by being a grump and rude when he comes home.

  • Not to be short with him. Watch how I talk towards him. Don't take the troubles of the day out on him.

  • Speak openly with him about what is bothering me, but talk nicely and not be so harsh.

Wow, reading that makes me sound like I speak harshly and meanly to my husband on a daily basis. I just place more blame on him than I should. It's not his fault that the kids spilled yogurt on the new chair, or it's not his fault that the kids let the dogs in the basement and it's not his fault that I'm in a bad mood but I take those things out on him and I shouldn't. I'm going to work this next 30 days on making sure that I love, honor and respect him.

I have to learn to respect myself for the role that I am playing in our marriage now. When we were married in October 2001 we both worked. I was in a career that I loved, climbing the ladder of success. My husband took on a position with a different company after our 1st son was born, we were relocated when he was 8 months old. I had to leave a job that I loved and a company that I loved working for and a career that I had spent a big portion of my life working my way up. I looked for a job, but unfortunately the market that we moved to was not a big market for my job. The job I was offered, would not have covered the cost of daycare for my son. It was at that point that we decided for me to stay home. I thought I would love it and I did at first. Then baby #2 came along and things were still good, I just had to figure out my new routine and schedule and then once I had it figured out, we were relocated again. I thought for sure that since we were moving to a bigger market that I could go back to work and work towards that career goal again. Boy was I wrong, I had been out of my field of work for just long enough that the response was "we're looking for someone with current experience". I resented the move, my husband and my kids. And then along came baby #3. No reason to go back to work now. I just needed to figure out how to respect my new "job". And I did, I learned to love my "job" and loved being with my kids and keeping my house up and chatting with my neighbors. Just as I became comfortable in my house, my life and my "job" we were relocated again, this time back "home". The last 15 months have been a real struggle for me and I have placed a lot of the blame on my husband. I need to stop doing that. I need to get back to the place I was where I was comfortable and I know that this 30-day challenge is going to help get me there.



Christine said...

This is really powerful. I can relate to the challenges of staying at home instead of working. It has to be a heart change. I'm thrilled you're participating in the challenge! I hope you and your hubby will be blessed.

Melanie said...

I'm in on this challenge too.
Glad to see all who are joining.
You have some great goals!

Munchkin Land said...

Great goals! I am so excited to see how God is going to challenge us and grow us during this time. Best of luck!